MOTHERHOOD

Teething is cruel. I find it really distressing and it often leaves me feeling helpless. An invisible tyrant who creeps up on you and your child, destroying your seemingly natural routine, which in truth, you worked really hard to establish. Sleepless nights. Tears. Tantrums. And plenty of tears from everyone (including the neighbours).

On Sunday the 8th of March, my partner of five years, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. It felt like the icing on the cake, for what has been, an incredible year. nd just like that, I was walking around like I had just won the lottery. A cool confidence had overcome me, I felt invincible.

I’m going to miss the look in his eyes when he sees me first thing in a morning. The pure rush of joy that runs through my body as I pick him up and squeeze him tightly, knowing that I don’t have to rush off to avoid traffic.

Is it me or is anyone else experiencing something way beyond exhausted since lock down began? Which is ironic, since our opportunity for movement and exercise is severely limited. But I swear, I am more exhausted now than before lock down.

As we begin the month of April, it’s hard not to recognise how remarkably different life was exactly one year ago, to this very day. In April of 2019, we embarked upon a month long road trip of America with a 5 month old baby. We had a rough plan and a few definite places and friends we wanted to visit, but other than that we had the liberty of taking each day as it comes. The freedom to roam across borders unchallenged.

When you become a mother your whole world changes in the blink of an eye. You survive childbirth and the aftermath of your body taking a beating to then, muster the courage and strength to take care of the most precious thing in the world, on little to no sleep. Throw in the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing most of the time, or even what day it is, those first few months are amazing but, hard work.

When I found out I was pregnant, I spent weeks fantasizing over how perfect I was going to be when I became a Mother. How I would, “never do what my Mum did,” or “I hated when my Mum did that.” Embarrassingly, there was a sense of pride in my voice when I stated these grandiose ideas aloud. Little did I know how challenging, testing and isolating motherhood can be.