I’m going to miss the look in his eyes when he sees me first thing in a morning. The pure rush of joy that runs through my body as I pick him up and squeeze him tightly, knowing that I don’t have to rush off to avoid traffic.

I’m going to miss the way he seeks me out for approval when he’s exploring and about to do something that he knows could be dangerous. The way he does it anyway, regardless of the consequences. I admire his fearless nature and I wish I was more like him.

I’m going to miss when he reaches for me with his arms stretched high. How he snuggles right into the crook of my neck and grabs hold of my clothing. How I have to prise him off because he will not let go. How he smells and the sounds of his heartbeat on my chest.

I’m going to miss when he chooses to run to me instead of Daddy because he knows I am there. When he chooses to give me his toys. How because my mind is focused on him, we are able to bond and connect on a much deeper level through being ‘present.’

I’m going to miss not knowing what time it is. Not caring what day it is. I’m going to miss knowing that the only job I have for today is to hang out with you.

I’m going to miss being able to sit in comfy clothes and soak in your every move, of every second, of everyday. How you never walk but run everywhere. How quick you are to pick things up and how you repeat little things until you have mastered them.

I’m going to miss you shouting ‘hiya’ at everyone and everything because it’s currently your word of choice. How when we go for our daily walk, you woof at passing dogs and chase pigeons. I’m going to miss hunting squirrels and feeding ducks and chickens. Taking out time to enjoy nature and each other.

I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss you. Terribly. More than you’ll ever know. More than words could every express.

Yes I am beyond tired, haven’t brushed my hair in days, am behind with the laundry and desperately want to clean the house.

But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Because I can already feel it deep down inside.
How incredibly much.
I’m going to miss this.